it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
