I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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