I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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