i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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