is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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