Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
