You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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