I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
