i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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