I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
