Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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