I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
