How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
