come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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