she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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