So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
