i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
