I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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