i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
