I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
