i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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