Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
