so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
