I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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