I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I enjoy the company of your penis
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
