walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
