Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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