Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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