it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
