I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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