I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Found the puke drawer
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
