he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
