There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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