There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
