I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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