Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Alive.
So much puke
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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