It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Bring me that man meat
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
