At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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