Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
