A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
