Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
