This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
