I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
