apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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