Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
