Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
