hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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