i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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