I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
