I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
